Are you looking at me?

Dear Reader,
I have never been bothered by people looking (staring) at Conrad.  But now that he is older he has a larger audience of people stopping to look as he rolls by in his red adaptive stoller playing on my iphone - every now and then holding it up for me to put it back to the photos - or trying to grab every single thing made of paper or plasitc he can get his hands on or doing his favorite heavy breathing act (Matt says he enjoys breathing more than the rest of us). But at the store today it was different.

Maybe it was because I am white flour and sugar deprived as I try to get my health in top notch shape or maybe it was because it is now spring break and not one of my kids wanted to spend time with me - even after I took them all to lunch, even Connie, he just wanted to be in his bed watching a movie - or maybe it was because I battle depression (the Big D as we call it at our house) and today I was in full battle mode.

At any rate the stares aggravated me.

I left the store holding back the tears. I pulled up in front of my house and saw my oldest boy, Ben,  hanging out with three of his buddies. They were working on their scooters in the driveway and my heart lifted as I watched them working together and it lifted a little more as they said hi to Conrad and moved so that he could get past them. It lifted again as I walked inside the house to find the phone ringing, and hearing  my youngest, Wilson, calling to see if he could play a particular video game - he wanted to make sure it was ok with me. Then it was lifted even more as Conrad gave me his ultra smile as he led me to his room and climbed in his bed and waited paitently for me to turn on a movie for him to watch. It was as if he was saying, "Mom, I know you are a bit low today, so go have a break. I'm good."
Thank you guys. I think I will.